NEW SONG. ’DRIVIN’. FIRST LIVE PERFORMANCE. PHILAMOCA, PHILADELPHIA, PA. 1.18.2013
This track is called Drivin’ (video title is misspelled) and it’s from our new record entitled
This is no joke, people. Our new record will be comin’ at you before you know it. You’re gonna love it.
Video by Darrin Annussek. Thank you Darrin.
8PM, $7-10 donation, PhilaMOCA
531 N 12th St, Philadelphia PA
This is a new video for a semi-old tune of ours, ‘Tonight’. We still have a few copies of the 7” left. If you’d like to purchase one, head over to our online store. Or if you “don’t do vinyl” head over to our digital store.
Please share. Thank you. Have a good day.
NUMBER 2: Abadox
Abadox has changed all of our lives this year even though few Americans know, or remember what it is. The doctor responsible for the most medical breakthroughs of this millennium, culminating in what has become the most important medical discovery of all time (Iron-D, Iron Dextran) said in an interview this holiday that he would never have become a medical researcher if it hadn’t been for Abadox. ”As a child growing up in Michigan, the pressure was high to make something of myself, to be somebody. My friend Karl W. Krarl lent me his favorite game and his NES for the weekend while he and his parents went away to check out colleges. This was 1991, people were still talking about the U.S.S.R. and making music with machines, you know, and I was about to graduate high-school. Needless to say, I didn’t. I finished Abadox instead. The deadly inner war that was being fought and lost, mind you, by so many youths in that time really inspired me to take another look at the medical field. So yes, I’d say without a doubt, if it weren’t for me opting to finish my game and just getting my GED later, yes, the world would be living up to its elbows in dead goats, thank you very much. This interview is over! IT’S OVER! < indistinguishable screaming and gunfire>
Wow, what a year. Here’s some more of what made this year such a great year:
Number 3: The new applications of the Coriolis Effect
Now I don’t claim to be a scientist, but after the new applications of the Coriolis Effect were revealed this year I would claim that any scientist should be called a hero. After nearly one century of dealing with the agony of having too much food that tastes too good causing great nations like America to suffer from obesity and slightly shorter lives, scientists were fed up. They took a long look back at the fundamentals of scientific laws or whatever and they made an incredible discovery: two circles cancel each other out. Don’t feel bad if you still don’t understand that statement, it’s a complicated notion. Dr. Howard Afram explained the new application like this, “We saw that the obesity issue was simply a matter of roundness caused primarily by round food elements like lipids and carbohydrates, and that studies proved that the primary ingestion of these round elements were coming from round shaped foods. This is no coincidence. And understanding Coriolis forces as we do, it is simply a matter of compensating opposing force.” WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Well I’ll tell you what it means: eat 2 round foods at once and you will not get fat. For example, a round shaped pizza and a round donut. The secret is to fill the donut with a donut hole, or pop’em and just sit back and let ol’ man Coriolis do his business. Still skeptical? Try this on for size: Imagine you are sitting with your best friend on opposite sides of a merry-go-round. You take out a dollar from your pocket, spit on it, and crumple it up into a ball. Now, if the merry-go-round is spinning, and you throw your lucky dollar to your best friend, what happens? Boom, it flies to the side in an arch. BUT! if you throw your lucky dollar in an equal arch with opposite force the dirty bill will go right into your pals open mouth. No problem. It’s the same with round foods. Tired of Lite Beer? Well, just have a beer and another cool food, like a soda in a can. Or a can full of honey-roasted peanuts. You see, it’s all about shape, and now that we all know that we’ll all be in great shape FOREVER!
UNIVOX Top 10, 2012. These are the best.
Number Ten: Aliens. Aliens are back.
Number 9: Kent Boersma
Kent Boersma is BACK! He’s lookin good, he’s gettin it done. He’s got a real good thing going on, and that’s why he’s on this great list.
Number 8: Monsters
After all that’s been happening in the media with monsters this year, I don’t think I have to explain this one. But if I had to, in a word: BACK!
SEVEN: The sins
Sins are back and with everything that’s going on in the world, they’re more important to American life than ever. Kids with reduced allowances are sinning more to have fun during these economic times. Adults are using sin to get their way, and fight non-union scabs that are trying to build things without union people being involved.
666: Cars (Sedans)
Call them cars, call them Sedans, whatever you call them, in 2012 call it a comeback. Sedans have been creeping back into our lives now that economy has happened and Obama won’t quit. Highways and back alleys alike are littered with burned skeletons of the once proud race of Sport Utility Vehicles and Monster Trucks as a seemingly endless parade of four-door beauties roll over the bones of their defeated foes.
5: Five Years (David Bowie)
It’s been five years since David Bowie changed the world with his earth shattering performance as Emperor Maltazard in the runaway film success, Arthur and the Invisibles. In 2012 he made this shocking, but vital statement that we will never forget: “You should watch that film. I like it.”
Part 2 2morrow
OUR NEW FULL LENGTH RECORD ALBUM IS CURRENTLY BEING MIXED BY THIS MAN. HE IS TALENTED, ATTRACTIVE, AND LOVES TO PARTY. HE PLAYS IN A MUSCAL BAND CALLED NIGHT PANTHER.
We are very excited. Our new record is called ‘The Altec’. Please stay tuned.